Wedding

On his wedding day
He looked happy
And excited
to embrace the new way of life.
Probably he thought
This is it!
This is life
that would last...
But life has shown him
What LIFE actually is
At least a bit of its darkness...

Place Unknown :)

Given?

Does it matter
If I don't see you again?
Your face or your hair
Does it matter
If I don't touch them again?
Would you cry?
Would you cry
if you find I am not there?
Or would you be happy
to lead a life set by someone else?

Yes, unlike me
You didn't choose your life
Nor your path...
Everything was given to you
Everything was set beforehand.

Place unknown :)

Long-haired Boy

No, your long-haired boy
No, your clean-shaved boy
hasn't come this side
No, I haven't seen him.

For many days
He didn't choose to visit
this part of the city-the north.

Dust has covered his table
The bench where he usually sits
remains empty in despair
And his friends
they have stopped
sharing his anecdotes
They have stopped
talking about him.

(Note: Translated from a Bengali poem written long back in 2002-03)

Claiming

Though she claims you legally
I claim you eternally
Many times when I noticed
your white fingers
and imagined them to be as cold
as the snow-clad peaks of the Himalayas
Or when I looked up to your eyes gladly
I claimed you.

If she knows
my every word
reflects bits and pieces of you
She would definitely be surprised
Or may be a little sad
thinking that she can never claim you
the way I do.

LKO

Conversation XIII

It seems that you don't get
enough time to read
And I feel that
things have changed
between you and me...
Is it so? She asked.


[He remained silent.]
She continued...

It's not that
I can't have patience.
Look, here is the thing:
I need constant communication;
Even though I love
doing things alone
And I enjoy with myself,
I am pretty lonely
without our waves
without our love
without our color
and without US.

LKO

Four Pink Mice &...

There are four helpless creatures;
The number and gender
are circulated information
in this place;
Even you didn't want to inquire
You would receive them freely
These creatures...
eating, sleeping, drooling,
urinating, and pooping
And at night crying violently
--they are like nightmares
to destroy anyone's peace.

And lastly there is another one
The newborn mouse
takes your time
stealing mine.
It will not be
your reflection
(i.e. lacking confidence, opinion, and soft)
It will be more like me
independent, vocal,
and always ready to light a lamp
in darkness. 


LKO

Reminder

-I am still waiting.
-You know that
  waiting for a proper explanation.
-I believe I deserve it;
And it's been many days
since then
I haven't heard 
a single word from you.
When your people
came down from abstract
to reality
and asked many personal questions
which you shouldn't have asked
while I am still here
Then I also deserve an answer
from you keeping the confidentiality.


Epilogue

I used to find peace
Seeing you;
Your calm face
I used to sit across the table
with happiness
So that I could see you more
But now only
wound remains.

Your silence
burns me.


LKO

No Commitment

With his newly cut
short hair
he looked awful
And from his dark circles
I assumed that 
he remained awake past night
Only I could see his pain
even though he smiled;

His pain like waves
touched my shore
That is why
for the first time
I wrote him
letting him know
that I haven't made
any commitment
to anyone.

LKO

Shower

Wiping water droplets
from his back
with a dry towel
was my favorite.
Whenever he came out of the shower
and sat on the chair
I waited patiently
and when he was done
chanting his prayers
I cleaned his bare back.

But if you come out of shower
and if I ever get a similar moment
I would draw fishes and waves
on your back with blue
and I would send you back again
under the shower.

Your bare back
my canvas!
And I know you would
allow me to play with it.

With you
I don't even need to say words
With him...
felt something is lacking.

LKO

Conversation XII

Dear, I can really move on
If you want...
Looking at him she said.
Because, in the end
Life is big and vast
and I still have another twenty
The only thing that holds me back...

--What is that thing? He asked.
--You know it. Don't you?
   Besides, you don't have any space
   left for me;
   I always wonder
   Even though you are equally
   blessed like me..
--How could I lack inner consciousness? Right?
   (He said)
--Yes, right!

And they burst into laughter!


LKO

Trampled

We were happy souls.

But our hearts
have been dampened by those
who have little understanding
about US.

Our hearts like moist grasses
drenched by an untimely rain
or trampled by a herd of antelope;

Our hearts
still throbbing
but
lacking vigor.

LKO

Daru

--I'm sure you don't drink
She said while sitting
across the table.
-No, I don't.
-So, in D.C. while
I will have a frozen margarita
You could just have a plain soda.
It's a bit sad.
She laughed.

And he felt shy
or may be a little embarrassed
But sipped the imaginary drink
enjoying the ambience.

LKO

Hold me dear

Hold me dear
Take me IN
I have been waiting long...
waiting outside the door

The rain has come
It's pouring so much
that I am shivering
Can't you see that?
Can't you smell
my fragrance?
Why do they keep you
far from me?
Why do they wash off
the colors we put together?

I know
You would run
to meet me
when you smell
the fragrance
when you hear
my footsteps


Hold me dear
Take me IN.

LKO

Congratulations

My Little Bird!
A lots of imaginary
red roses I bought
from a nearby florist
Imagine that
it's on your way
for your new success!
Along this
save some roses, 
your prayers,
and good thoughts
for my future.

LKO

Unsaid

This world
around her
has offered many wounds;
As she has embraced a new identity
She is shutting her door
She looks inward now
not outward
She has decided
not to pursue anyone
Even she can find someone
from the broad spectrum
She would never have the one
who would understand her unsaid words. 

LKO

The one

When I know
You are the one
I was looking for
And you are the one
who can read
between the lines--
who can read
my every thought...
I can't go back
Nor I can move forward
For me, time is frozen
and sometimes
it's extremely painful
the burden of my emotion
I feel not to keep going.

LKO

Conversation XI

---Darling,
---Yes, I am listening.
---You need to give them dance lessons
---Dance lessons? To whom?
--To these young butterflies
   who had their first party today.
--So, would you find a dancer
   who would teach them ball, salsa, and tango?
--Okay, I will see.
--Will you? Please don't say "No."
   And..
--And what? He asked
-- I am not nagging :)

LKO

Unrequited

She met him
in a time of struggle
Both mesmerized
with each other;
Their chemistry was
visible to everyone
around them.
But they didn't know
In her difficult time
She poured emotion
and her warmth
and gave more than
she received.

LKO

Conversation X

--Darling, let's change our code.
--What code?
--The color code;
--What do you propose? He asked.
--I would want you to wear blue
  whenever I am NOT present;
  You would wear blue in your all meetings
   that I don't attend and...
--And?
 --You would wear so much blue
    that people would start saying
    he has really turned into a bluish bunny.
--What about when you are present?
   She pondered over the question a while
   and said--you would wear white with brown shoes.
---Darling (She paused)
--What?
--You know that I won't be here
   for too long to even see the colors.

LKO

Integrity

When you walk the talk
in the midst of adverse situations
You retain your integrity.

During our brief evening interactions
once I felt you wanted to put the gun
on my shoulder and pull the trigger from behind.
You wanted me to say things
which you should have said himself.
If this is your style of diplomacy
remember, I despise it wholeheartedly.



LKO

Prefix and Suffix

Whenever he calls my name
without any prefix
and suffix
I feel extremely good!
Last summer when I heard him
calling my friend Kashtrani  
with a suffix
I thought "gosh!
he is way too old-fashioned."

LKO

Light

The past was dark
dark like his slender bare back
There was only light
through poetry;
His and Mine.

LKO

Conversation IX

--Most mammals can swim; She said.
So, I would assume you can swim too.

Can you swim? He asked.
--Yes, I can.
I love water and
I think I would love to swim again.

Will you teach me?
--Yes, of course!
[And she laughed]

What's there to laugh about?
He got offended.
She laughed again and said,
Because, I will throw you in Gomti
and you will learn.

LKO

Butterflies

Think dear!
Think carefully
How two of us have evolved
since our first meeting;
Sitting in a cabin
when I first saw you
It was strong!
Since that moment
we have pulled each other
sometimes pushed too
because of circumstances
But when I think
How we have come
a long way
how we completed a full circle 
within these two years
It's a miracle
and it's beautiful!
Without each other
we were like ugly caterpillars
Now, we have transformed into
two wonderful butterflies.

LKO

Inititaive

I know
Before leaving
You wanted to meet me
Bluish bunny

But what if
I didn't come out
of the room
What if
I didn't take any initiative
that day when our blue sky
completely got
hidden behind white
So, won't you appreciate me
a little
for taking that much
initative to see you?

LKO

God's Gifts?

"Children are god's gifts"
If you accept this statement
You allow yourself to believe
you have no role in it
as well as no pleasure was involved.
Can God believe in carnal pleasure?

The statement is equivalent to a
heaven for those who
don't want to encourage birth control
and its measures. 

 LKO

তুই কি ঠিক আছিস ?

তুই কি ঠিক আছিস
নাকি আমারি মতো আছিস কষ্টে
চোখের জল বাষ্পে পরিণত
অবিরাম অবিরল
তাই নিয়ে কাজ করিস
তুই কি ঠিক আছিস?

দিন কাটে
রাত আসে
রাত কেটে আবার
পরের দিন
এভাবে প্রতিদিন চলে যায়

আমাদের দিন গোণা
কোনোদিন শেষ হবে কী
শেষ হবে কি প্রতীক্ষার
তুই কি ঠিক আছিস ?


***************************************************

Are you okay?
She asks
She asks him over phone.

Actually there is no phone
But she thinks
as if one exists between them.

Are you okay?
Did you almost feel crying?
His tear transforms into water vapor
He works with that

Days
Nights pass
New day begins
Then it ends and
Next day comes

Their endless wait
Will it end someday?
She thinks

Are you okay?
She asks

(Note: Translation has been done keeping the original essence).

LKO

Nirvana

Compared to her
He is bound by material attachments
He plays many roles...
father, son, husband, and brother
Did he ever ask himself
if he truly wanted to play such roles?
each and every role?
Or these roles are imposed upon him
by the family and larger society?

Compared to him
She always had better clarity
about what role she wants to play
and what not.

With more roles
he will generate more Karma
And more entanglements
Also, more knots
Certainly his Nirvana
will be delayed than her.

LKO

Live and Love

Today, the whole truth is revealed to me
And I am much more at peace
You and I...
were together in this world before
When I had to depart early
You were lonely and sad
But now life has given us
a second chance
to live and love again.
So, dear
I am waiting for you
to return;
to return to me soon.

LKO

Let me

Let me listen to the song
One more time
Let me listen to the song
One more time
Let me listen
The sound of pain
In my silence
The sound of pain
It is so sweet!
like a 'Dairy Silk'
It is so sweet
that it feels to
rear it forever
in my heart
Let me listen
Let me...
Before
I sleep.

LKO

Panacea

In Shantiniketan
We celebrated Holi
We--a group of a dozen boys and girls
from Kolkata

An ace girl danced
on the rooftop of the dorm
and taught simple steps of ball
to a keen guy;

It is so easy now
to understand all past events
The words "ACE", "DEMI" and "SAPIO" explain
all things which puzzled her earlier

A simple word could be
like a lifesaving drug!
It's like a magic
like a panacea
which cures everything at once.

LKO

Thoughts but not poetry

Here, people don't rely on
a combination of hard work & professionalism
Rather, there is a great dependency on personal network
which is truly a hindrance towards progress;
And this is one of the major reasons
why the country is still "developing" and not "developed."

LKO

Capitalist Diplomat

He was not born a diplomat
Nor a capitalist
But he has become one!
Whenever he can't solve anything
He smiles
Whenever he doesn't want to take
any side in a conflict
He smiles
Whenever he wants to put the blame on others
He smiles
Even when somebody directly accuses him
of not being enough professional
He smiles
In conclusion, saving our own skins
requires a smile like his.

Lucknow, India

Platform

His hair
Though all white
in the midst of some black
looked darker at a glance
He always looked way younger
than his contemporary;
Tonight, when I am recalling him
I remember our last meeting
on the platform
No, we were not emotional;
Rather we were busy checking
things as per the list
I never came to know
if my migration to the land of liberty
made him happy, proud, or sad.

Lucknow, India

Some Relief

As she entered
the curly one
I received the strong scent.
I couldn't guess the flower though.

Each night
it becomes difficult
living without you.
Only when I take a dip
--a shelter in poetry
I get some relief.

Lucknow, India

Vow

I take a vow
that in sickness and health
I would always write for you
and I would always bring the rain. 


Lucknow, India 

Woman who makes curd

His choice of people
significantly differs from him.
It could be explained in terms of
generation gap.
Interestingly, our choice of people
can closely match.
Little bird, probably you have
understood my opinion about
a woman-about whom you asked.
She read everything
and suggested an activity
of making curd.
It was actually hilarious!
But that woman is his favorite
Not ours.

(Note: no negative but...this "but"cannot be pointed out)


Lucknow, India

Battle

This road is long
There is no vehicle;
Even under the cold and starry night
I would walk with hope and pride.
Still much fire left in me
to fight my own battle.

Lucknow, India 

Hasnuhana

Dear,
It's been long time
I haven't received your fragrance!
The "season of sorrow" is over
Can't you bring the rain
as well as the maddening
scent of Hasnuhana?

Lucknow, India

Certain Pain

Certain pain is yours
Only yours!
Certain pain you
only need to go through
and overcome
If you can't
You would perish.

Lucknow, India

Neo

Neo cooks well
Now, he doesn't;
After I am gone
I am surprised to know
that he doesn't even make tea
and depends upon instant tea bag.
Neo, a lazy guy
loves to sleep.

Lucknow, India

Conversation VIII

--Here, the issue is "trust."
--You think so?
--Yes, I do. I feel you don't trust anyone or
those trustworthy creatures are handful.

Living in a different setting for a long time...
I understand the vacuum.
This country has lost some basic human qualities.
People are not trustworthy enough
Nor they possess any strength of character
with an open mind.
In other words, many people are immature.
And remember, I don't count your success
just from the last year's accreditation
By this time, you must have known
It's hard to satisfy me!

Lucknow, India 

Difficult Living

It's very difficult for them
To live and breathe
at different corners of the planet.
When they already know
they are almost "same."

She won't forget him
for this separation
His perspectives are narrow
not up to the mark
for this ever-changing world.

Lucknow, India 

Return to Me

Waiting for your return
Your return to me
Wherever you are
return to me

Imagining our bluish dream
How it would be!
How you would look
in your bluish mask again?

If you can
Please COME OUT
again in"blue"
If you can
Please bring me rain
In this winter
rain is scarce in your land.
If you say
snow is sufficient for now
I would say "No, it's not."
It's certainly not the same as rain.

Lucknow, India

ACE V

Half naked
Under water
Sleeping as an ACE

Half naked
Under water
Breathing as an ACE

Half naked
Under water
Living as an ACE

Is beautiful.

Lucknow, India 

No Veil II

--Did she often sit by the water?
--I don't know.
--I think she did.

She loved visiting the Imambara
-the smaller one;
While looking at the water
she pledged to lift her veil forever.

Lucknow, India

Vultures

Vultures are good;
They would eat my flesh
from the Tower of Silence
and prepare me for the other world.
If I could, I would
request them
not to eat my eyes.
If I could, I would
certainly choose
this sky burial.

Lucknow, India 

ACE IV

This is my dream
One day we would sit together
And we would talk about US
Our experiences since teenage;
Before my death
We need to do that once

I would like to know
Your experience as ACE
I would let you know
My stories
Darling it took me so long
to find myself
to understand...
I am happy that for you
I was there to extend the hand
to navigate
For me, there was none.

Lucknow, India

ACE III

My bluish ACE
My sweetheart
I would put a red rose
on your white back tonight
And see how blood
runs through your vein

Oh, it would look like
a drop of blood
On snow.
My bluish ACE
I can make you shy!

😉😊

Lucknow, India

ACE II

She must be happy
securing "No Rain"
between us.
She must be happy
erasing our emotion
from the wide-open canvas
which we painted together;
But she has no idea
about us--the hetero-romantic ACE
She has no idea
that we thrive on thoughts
rather than physicality.
Honey, should we share the secret?

😊😊

Lucknow, India

The ritual-Bhai Phonta

This country
celebrates the relationship
between brothers and sisters
This relationship has received
so much importance 
that it is expressed through rituals. 
Being embedded in patriarchal structure
brothers love to see
them as protectors
of weaker sex-their sisters.
No doubt there is love
but that love doesn't lead to
gender equality
unless brothers do the same;
I have utterly rejected such ritual
from childhood.

Lucknow, India 

ACE I

We,
Ace,
Happy;
We are happy.

If you reveal
if you come out
in light
what would they say?
Your society
and your culture?
It is more rigid
than mine.
And because of this
I migrated
from your city
to the east;
To live
another life.

Lucknow, India

Love Unequal

As deep as ocean
Our love!
Every lover thinks so.

My Maqbool Fida Husain
painted the Lover's Lane with footsteps
as well wrote poetry
in college magazine!

Won't you be happy to know
that I love you more than him.

Isn't it amazing that
Love is always unequal
It can be compared
with dew drops
with rain
and with the depth of ocean.
and....

Lucknow, India



 

Conversation VII

Are you back yet?
Yes baby, I am.

Why don't you want to keep your trail?
'Cause you never give yours.
I have no way to know where you are
at this very moment.
So, I didn't want to keep my trail.

Are you upset?
No, I am not (he said).
Though his bluish face revealed otherwise.

Please don't be upset.
I am always with you
and you with me
There was not a single moment
that I didn't think of you.

Even when I work
When I talk to others
You are always with me!
You are part of me
and I am yours.
So baby, never get upset.


Lucknow, India 

I am

As a queen
I am full of treasure
As a fakir
I have none! 

OR

As a fakir

I am full of treasure 

As a queen

I have none! 

 

Place: Unknown :)

Return or No Return

Thinking this
that I have to go back
again in a place
where people still
need to expand
their thought
and horizon
generates an uneasiness.
Sometimes, the idea of seeing
you in your city
doesn't even motivate me to return.
Sometimes I ask
Is it the city
with which I have issues?
Or is it the people who live there?
Then I understand
It's the particular suffocating environment
of your place
as well as the lack of flexibility
chokes my existence
If you really want to achieve something
If you really want to touch the sky
You will need to blend flexibility, freedom, and dedication.

Place: Unknown :) 

A Perfect Death

Isn't it very romantic?
Dreaming about my own death
A perfect, calm and quiet death.
I see myself lying on the Earth
And all the autumn leaves
the beautiful red maples
have slowly covered my body
my two hands, legs
and my face...
Only my eyes will be open
To appreciate the beauty and love
which surrounds me all the time.

This time
I didn't want to say
Where I am going.
I do not want to keep my trail.
I feel at your place
Everyone comes to know everything.
There is no privacy.

Also, this is a wonderful idea
that when I would stop writing
at one corner of this planet
At that very moment,
my death is announced
by the world of poetry.

Place: Unknown :)

Fingers

Did I ever say
Whenever you put your hands
Beside mine
It felt too white!
Like snow on a mountain top.
Beside yours
My brown hands looked like a road
lying at the bottom of that mountain.
I never told you
I enjoyed looking at your fingers
They are feminine!
I would have been happy
to have such poetic fingers.

Place: Unknown :)

Letter to a lover

My bluish bunny
I want you to know
You never tormented me.

You are the rain

You are the spring
In this desert.

I have been tormented

By situations, by people's thoughts
People's intention to curb
women's freedom in the name of adjustments.

My bluish bunny

I have survived here
Because of our emotions!

I will be leaving tomorrow
For a much awaited leave
I want you to know
I am happy!

It's true that you never looked for me
The way I did throughout my life
But that wouldn't change a thing
Between us!

With lots of love

Your "lady in red."

Unfaithful

Let me tell you one thing.
In a poet's dictionary
There is no such word
called "infidelity."
No poet believes in such thing!
We question words like
"infidelity" and "unfaithful."
Physical closeness outside
a prescribed one
does not lead to infidelity.
Like all other things
faithfulness is time and space bound.
So, you are not unfaithful to her
Nor to me!

Lucknow, India

Season of Sorrow II

This year
it feels it will never end...
The season of sorrow
And the commemoration of Imam Husayn.

Lucknow, India

Territory

On your flesh
She has made imprints
by her nails.

Your body
Her territory
She will drive anyone out
who comes closer to it.
But she doesn't know
I am already there
I am in it.

Lucknow, India 

Reason

You are the reason
I came here
You will also be the reason
of my leaving.


Lucknow, India

Let me know

I am not a boa
I wouldn't embrace you
so tightly that you will not
be able to breathe.
No, I don't want to become like that.

I believe in transparent communication
And I need one!
I am waiting for your words.

If there is none,
Then I would consider
you like others
who were afraid to
provide any reason directly.
If you can't face me
then there is no difference
between you and the person
who dreams about transcendence.

Lucknow, India

Solitary

For me,
The road ahead is desolate
It would become more solitary
day by day.
But I am not afraid
Because in solitary
The greatest things are born.

Lucknow, India

Dreamer

Dreamers dream
till the last breath of their lives.

Lucknow, India

Land of Liberty

"She is not doing well"
While filling up the water bottles
She said to herself.
It feels she is just getting by.

If this continues...
none of her dreams will be achieved.
The dream of going back to the
land which valued her as a human!
Taught her so many important things of life--
Eye contact, "Say NO" even if unpleasant,
Work Ethics and the value of hard work!

The land where her close friends live
The dream of going back to the country
seems distant day by day.
This year Denver--moving away.
At least by '21,
She needs to visit her second home.

Lucknow, India 

Body or Mind?

I never wanted to hide anything from her
Nor I wanted you to hide
Because there is nothing to hide!
Love is a wonderful thing
and you and I are blessed
to find true love.

Now think, why do people have problem?
Why would they have issues
when you are only expressing emotions
and nothing else.
In real world we don't exist
We haven't even visited those places
where I want to be with you. 
In reality
We are ghosts to each other.

Now, think carefully
People have issues with body
or people have issues with mind?
People have issues with physical closeness
or people have issues with emotions.

I haven't touched you yet
I won't without your consent.
If you ask what I want to touch
I would say your "beard"
That is a thing
which always raises my curiosity.

I would want you to enjoy
my new picture
As it celebrates what I am
bare, bold, brave, and independent
The picture is also for the lady
As I never mind to show her myself. 



 Lucknow, India

Ma

Children curb
their mothers' freedom.
No doubt I have curbed hers.
And won't be able to do justice
to all those things she has done!


Lucknow, India.

No Compensation

In our lives
certain things cannot be replaced
once gone!
A bluish bunny
can not be compensated
with a white one.

:( 

Lucknow, India

Ideal Living

Sitting by the side of a fireplace
Or sitting on the wooden porch
I would read a book
and my Golden Retriever
would sleep on the floor.

I dream
I dream of an ocean
Or fallen leaves on the porch
in late autumn.

I dream
I dream
about an ideal living.

Lucknow, India

Marital Courtship

There was a marital courtship
Yes, there was!
Because it is a modern age
And the custom to marry someone
Just by seeing someone's picture
Or no picture is long gone in this country.

So, a choice of courtship
was offered to both of them--the young girl & the boy
to make it modern and contemporary.
However, the underlying assumption was an "YES"
YES--that was the expectation of people around.

As they were raised not to ask questions
and accept the person who would be
chosen for them by their parents
It led to a marriage.

Lucknow, India

The Swan

In her,
I see a glimpse of my Kashtrani.
Both of them are vocal
--can stand out amidst
subjugation and injustice.
At the same time
they can flow
and their emotions---
They are bold, courageous
Yet vulnerable! 
Finally, I am glad to find
a lovely swan in this desert
where rain is severely scarce. 

Lucknow, India

Not needed

You don't need men
to appreciate your curves
Or no curves at all.
It could be cylindrical
or a tree trunk---doesn't matter
After all,
a tree trunk has its own beauty
in straightness.

You don't need men
to write poetry on
your wonderful nudity.
If you can explore
your own body
like an artist does
You don't need men at all.

Lucknow, India

Darkness

Certain times
There is NO you.

In my darkness
I am my own light.

Certain times
when you are with me
Sitting closer
to each-other...
In the next moment---
Reality hits me harder
Pointing out that
There is no one around. 

Lucknow, India

Non-normative

Yes,
We are different.
YOU and I
We are non-normative
We are hetero-romantic
We are asexuals.
Or we could be a mixture of demi-sexual and sapio. 

We are not above them
nor below them
who claim to be mainstream.
We should proudly raise
our bluish flag
and march forward
for our freedom
and for all those good things
we truly deserve. 

Lucknow, India 

Restive

I couldn't write anything
No, couldn't write any new poem for you.
It was more than 24 hours.
I know.
You wait for me
When the new poem would come?
You become restless
Like me
When she would write?
When I will read?
When?
I know.
You don't have to tell me
I know
You become restive
Like me.

Lucknow, India

Heartbreak

This heart
Breaks!

There is no sound.
There is no mend. 
The wound is wide open
And will remain so.

Lucknow, India

The discussion and what followed

 Back then
 She didn't comprehend what "She is."
 She met the Nigerian guy in another department
and was impressed by his discussion on Marx.
She was struggling to understand theories.
So, she asked if he could explain her later
and share his experience of coming
to a different academic system from Africa.

She met one day for coffee.
The Black Professor noticed them--by chance.
He might of thought they were dating
Or may be he didn't think anything.
But it was not usual for Indians to date Africans-
No, not that common.

The other day
he invited for an evening meal at a restaurant
along with the discussion...
She went and drank margarita---probably the first time.
She liked the taste
But her sixth sense
told her not to drink too much.
They started talking
It went on for some time.

As the evening was turning towards night
She wanted to go back...
So, they left together.

While dropping closer to her apartment
He tried to pull her closer to his body
She cringed back--
saying that she never expected such thing.
He understood it was a mistake
but explained that everybody needs that
Reinforcing the idea that there is a biological need
for her which she should fulfill.


He explained
he was lonely--being an international.
She didn't want him to feel bad
So, she said it was okay---it can happen...
She was not the right person
to help him on that matter;
She thanked him for dinner
opened the car door and left.
She never met him again.


Later, the incident
hurt her thinking through
the idea that if women
meet men for dinner
somewhere there is this underlying assumption
that they would receive something in return--the sex.


Lucknow, India

I am--Liberal

He can't be like me;
Nor I can become like him!
He can't be a freedom lover
Nor he can fight for his own freedom.
But does it matter
when it comes to emotions?
He is not even a soldier
----a "soldier of love."
But does it matter?
No, Not.
Because that is the beauty
of being a liberal.

Lucknow, India

Badtameez

The city is completely a mismatch
To her and many others like her
A city is not made of only bricks
But people--everybody knows the fact.
Here, women are taught to suppress their feelings
as well as sexuality.
They are taught to bypass issues
rather than taking a stand.
And who takes stand
they are called "badtameez."

Lucknow, India

Silent Revolt

I have seen him
to revolt
not loudly
but more of a silent revolt.

The bluish boy
has revolted recently,
by expressing his emotions
through color...

But he can only do that much
as he will always compromise
his own independence.

Lucknow, India 

Revolt or Not

I have revolted many times
Now, its your time!
Now it's your time to check
how far you can go
for your own freedom and happiness!
Remember, you can only revolt
If you are willing to LOSE.
If you are willing not to compromise
your character and ideologies.

For me, I would like to see
If you can go beyond...
beyond those things
which are imposed upon you.
Though I know
I have little hope
to see you with flying colors
of freedom.


Lucknow, India

Autumn to Winter

Yesterday, the moon seemed cold.
It was in her Gibbous phase.
There was a coldness in everything
---surrounding her.
There was a sense of urgency
To fast forward the days...
To see what yet to come on her way.

As she looked at the cold moon
She felt coldness in her heart;
Her heart---sad and sobbing always
She smelled the coldness in the air...

The season is about to change 
Nobody notices though
from autumn to winter;
She sighed. 

Lucknow, India

Queen

I felt like a queen
giving him order indirectly.
He knew I was trying to irritate him.
Smiling--he called his best man
who appeared soon at my service.
Though not appropriate behavior
in that setting; I was pleased inside.

Lucknow, India

Type

In "Twilight"
She was exactly his type.
Her scent was his type.
When I read the story
the word "type" struck me.

Tonight, I feel
We are exactly each other's type.
So, it will be next to impossible
to accept this separation.

Lucknow, India

Interdependency

Very few people understand
Love--a component of positive emotion
can depend on multiple persons at a time.
So, Love can't exist independently
It is interdependent. 
And, for people like us
who are minorities
in the broad spectrum of sexual orientations
----For them
Love is more of a mental exercise
than a physical one.

Lucknow, India

Thunderstorm

Whenever she thinks of the evening,
the evening --when she became a thunderstorm
and showered all her anger on him
smiles appear on her face.
Those moments always remind her their depth of love.
As he tolerated the thunderstorm
and as it gave her a chance to say "sorry" million times
The evening is very special to her.

Lucknow, India 

Let's hit the dance floor

Oh boy Oh boy!
She felt to hit the dance floor
Oh boy Oh boy
She came in red shirt!
Yeah, Oh yeah
She came in red shirt
Oh boy Oh boy!
Do you remember
her red and plaid shirt?
Oh boy Oh boy
Do you remember
your lady in red?
Yeah, Oh Yeah
She felt to hit the dance floor.

Lucknow, India

White Flag

Messenger read the morning message.
Even though she sank in the deepest water
And it felt somebody choked her
Messenger understood
the words are not written by him.

Her bluish boy
could have blamed her long back
and she, the lady, who showered her love & affection
whose eyes she vividly remembers
along with the changing color of her face...
And her smile during the monsoon rain
when they both got stuck on the road
could have done the same long long back...
So, the messenger still waves
her white flag--the symbol of peace and love.

Lucknow, India

Jimi

Remembering old days
How far I have come!
From those paddy fields
Where I used to hide
And Jimi--my companion
used to play around me.
His eyes were bright
Jimi--my childhood friend
wagged his tail
and rolled over the ground
Before his death
He came to meet me at my house.

Lucknow, India 

Storm always passes

Dear little bird,
Trust me! the storm always passes.

Though I am not a storm in your life
Nor you in mine;
And if you think me as a storm
or a dark cloud engulfing everything
Then it will be a great insult to my loving soul.

I do not know what happened
that you had to expose me
in this little place
where people wouldn't understand us.

Even though thousand questions
come on the surface
I only trust you and our emotions.
If you have exposed me
there should be some grave reason.
So, my little bird
Nothing I can do except to trust
and have faith on you.

Lucknow, India

On the way to Charminar

My bluish boy
It's true
that for some moments my heart trembled;
I lost my stability and I sank.
When I found you among others
I asked myself "why today?
Why? When I am not there even to see."
Inside the car--
My companion was saying something...
I couldn't pay attention.
My companion---we met first time
but it didn't take long to bond.

When I got myself back
My bluish boy
I understood "why."

My bluish boy
do not sulk
do not brood
For you, I will write as much as I can.
Though certain times
it takes heavy toll.

My bluish boy
we do not know future
we do not have any control
we can only hope...
My bluish boy
as you painted the sky with
love and emotion
My trip to Charminar
transformed into a rainbow.

Lucknow, India

Bluish Boy

My bluish boy
I have seen you.
Even though I was not there
You painted my favorite color.
My bluish boy
I have seen you.
Even though I was not there
You spread happiness in my life.

Hyderabad, India 

Telephone

She said
the new person has come
and sat on my chair
They said that chair is mine.

On phone, she said
they don't want me to go from there.
Your namesake---her heart resembles yours.


Also, in my life
a new person has come
who cares for me.
If I bring her here in this city
She would happily float in Hussainsagar.

People who really know me
They know I stand by them
even when everything is not right.
So, I stand by you
And I wait for your words.

Hyderabad, India

You can't

You can't stop a poet
to express her emotions
for her beloved.
A poet knows thousand ways
to communicate;
If you take away pen
She would find charcoal
If you take away charcoal
She would use her blood.

Lucknow, India

Our Little Happiness

We had little happiness.
We found happiness through color.

He was no more lonely;
he felt no more alone
as he knew
he finally found his
hetero-romantic asexual other.

Similarly, I was happy to find him
After so many days
after so many years
after so many turmoils.

We had little happiness
We found happiness through color.
The world around us is too harsh
It even couldn't bear our little happiness.

Lucknow, India

Interrogrator

The interrogator asked
What future I was hoping?
I said I didn't think in that terms.
After a pause I added---There is no future.
I replied what they wanted to hear.

Your name was used
to extract information
and anybody would fall into that trap.
It was used such a way 
that you don't want to see me
but you wanted to know
how I perceived all the things alone
without any reciprocation.


Later, when I was with "me"
I laughed thinking
who are these people to weigh
the cost-benefit ratio of our relationship?

So, dear --now I ask us:
What future do we see together?
So, dear--now I ask you:
What future do you see with me?

Lucknow, India

My heart melts

I only dare
I only dare
to criticize
cause you gave me the right.

So, even though I criticize,
at every criticism
my heart melts
like the melting glacier at Karakoram.

Lucknow, India

There are many

I always thought
she is equally good
and she has at least bits of your golden heart
Otherwise, how could you live--I wondered.
But, all my notion about her
has been transformed recently.

Seems like you will continue to live 
your life with everything--but anything genuine.
And in our country there are many like you.
However, I don't fall under that "many"
Being a relatively free human being
I would certainly evade
the shackle of regulatory mechanism. 

Lucknow, India 

Loveless & Feminism

Even embracing less love
Or suppressing emotions
People would continue to spend
their lives side by side.
It seems that the world around us
shrinks seeing anything authentic.
Therefore....
Feminism is just not needed for women
irrespective of where they live;
It is equally required for men
to liberate themselves. 

Note: Originally drafted on September 19, 2019.

Lucknow, India 

Not Giving Up

First time in my life

Yes, the first--

I feel not to give up. 

I feel not to admit defeat. 

Even though 

I will be marooned and doomed

I can't give up on you. 

Lucknow, India 

Interception

Messenger contemplated
and then concluded
all the messages had been intercepted.
Thereafter, the happiness of painting
the canvas with "blue"
would need great courage to pursue.
Understanding the graveness of the incident
Messenger sent a piece of advice:
--Keep the canvas "white"
as white secretly hides primary "blue."


Lucknow, India

Father

She asked: How did your father die?
--I don't know. I was in abroad.
I knew what happened.
But I didn't want to respond.

When he exhaled for the last time
I was not by his side.
So, I don't have any memory--which is blissful.
He continues to live on.

He picked a broom often
and cleaned the floor.
He removed weeds from the courtyard.
He had tears in his eyes
when the daughter got married.
The daughter was happy to leave the house. 

My mother's eyes were dry.
And I, received all the emotions from him
cried in secret.
I never showed it to him.

Lucknow, India

Conversation VI

I have decided not to take it.
--Take what?
Take the money you gave.

I would wait for the day
when you will earn
your true freedom and finance;
That day I will not have any shame
to beg it from you.

Lucknow, India. 

Rebirth

Probably in '78 or '79
My soul departed from here
to find a place where it could feel the liberation.
So, it traveled to Bengal
where women are highly valued as individuals.

Lucknow, India 

Banishment

In history
and mythology
the rightful one
always received banishment.

Lucknow, India

Continuity

Whatever happens
Whatever unfolds
We will be there
Holding hands from miles apart.
There is no force on this planet
who can separate our minds to be together. 
Our love is eternal
and it will remain so.
Through our words
some said and some unsaid
Our love will continue to live on.

Lucknow, India

Reward

The reward has been offered
To save or to destroy
The arrow is pointed towards me.
This is the last thing I needed
for all the things
I have done
to keep you safe.

Revealing my emotions to somebody else--
Even though you knew
I wouldn't be here...
The reward has been offered.

Lucknow, India 

More than 24

Sometimes it takes more than 24 hours
To settle all the agitations...
All the waves which come to the surface
of my mind.

Yes, it takes more than a day
to find my peace.
At the end, the waves settle--
they dive deep into the water
They hide their faces from where they came
And the surface eventually becomes calm.

Deep into the water
My souls knows
It will find a way to meet yours.
If not, both have to depart
Until they are drawn back again
To this Earth by some unknown
force of the universe.


Lucknow, India.

Conversation V

Standing inside the elevator
Both started their conversation.
These few seconds they had
when nobody watched them
Even the liftman was invisible from the scene.

****************************************************

She: I know what you wanted to mean that day.
He: What?
She:You wanted to say I am part of your family.
He: Yes, that's right. But you initially considered
        the second half of the sentence
Smiling she said:That was deliberate; I wanted to test you.
He: How long will you test me?
She: As long as I live; Actually we don't need any test
He: Yes, we are beyond such thing.

They remained silent.
Breaking it she asked: Will you survive without my words?

****************************************************
As they reached the destination
Both hurriedly left.
Only the empty elevator and the corridor
reverberated with her voice.


Lucknow, India.

Season of Sorrow I

 In a distant city
 Her beloved lives.
 When the "Season of Sorrow" comes
 He reaches out to his collection of clothes
 And takes out blue, ash, and black.
 While recalling old days
 He would remember her earnest wishes
 To appear in "blue."

For both of them
Everything is blue, ash, and black.
Both spend days with blood
Oozing out from their wounds.

Lucknow, India

Loving Deeply

My experiences are mine
Yours are yours;
As I have come a long way
To see the sunrise
And your face
I deeply embrace you
with love.
As I have completed a journey
with full of hurdles
It is my desire
that we enrich each other--
today, tomorrow, and always.

Lucknow, India 

Silly Things

There is an asexual bunny
Who lives in a cozy hollow
full of comfort;
During the hot summer days,
The hole remains cool.

The bunny does silly things
such as procreating early
and offending his "significant other"
His confidante..

The significant other is offended
not for the actual act of procreation
but for the lack of effort
from bunny's side
to empower his mate
and give her wings to fly
and to create an identity
besides just calling "his mate."

The conclusion:
The bunny shouldn't expect
any "congratulations"
from his confidante.

Lucknow, India

Equal

Last year when she appeared
during the "season of sorrow"
She smiled
and I didn't reciprocate.
There was no negative feeling;
But I didn't want to
Because I was not formally introduced.

The second reason probably
which I can decipher
after scrutinizing the bottom of my mind--
I didn't want to smile to somebody
who is just an undergrad
And who hardly understands
the complex world of academia--
It's light and darkness.

This year, I smiled to her
And she didn't.
I was happy to have our scores equal
without any regret.


Lucknow, India

Hangover

After our each meeting
we become highly intoxicated
and the hangover remains for
at least two days.

It's like living in a tavern
in a blissful state
where the light becomes shy before darkness.
In such shadow,
we then fill up each other's cup
with more wine.

After our each meeting
we become highly intoxicated
and the hangover remains....

Lucknow, India

Monsters

The monsters came out
One by one
They came out of the building
where they live;
A fat lady takes care of them
And she proudly announced that
She is the one
who can only handle those monsters--
Small, large, short, tall, healthy, slim--
They are in different size and shape.

Among those monsters
Among those enthusiastic kids
I felt like a seasoned oak tree;
I felt like an old demon--
A demon who is always happy
around such monsters.

Lucknow, India

Nudity

We are born naked
and we die naked
Then why so much embellishment in the middle?

Walking naked in your own space
gives you immense freedom...
Sometimes, it is good to be naked
and confront our own existence
Our own body and mind;

Sometimes, our nudity is as beautiful
as a river with waterfall,
Sometimes, our nudity is as beautiful
as a naked moon who refuses to take any cover.

Lucknow, India

Fundamental Right

You are not my property
Nor I am yours;
We both are free human beings
We are beautiful rivers
We flow parallel to each other...

You are not my property
Nor I am yours;
You have fundamental right to love
Whomever you wish
Similarly, I have right to love whomever I choose;
Yet, it's a different thing that
we may commit to each other;

You are not my property
You are not a land to which
I can put a fence and claim
"You are mine"
If I have ever claimed you in the past
That is purely out of LOVE
And not for the sake of claiming
You, your body, and mind.
 

Lucknow, India

Your Love

It didn't go the way I planned--the evening
I planned to write,
but the evening became stormy
losing my inner peace;

Sudden external things
Sudden conversations
create such pain
that I would like to
run away from everything.
If something is here
that is your "love"
which I embrace deeply
to heal.

Lucknow, India

Planning for a Date

After rain
the grasses have grown much taller;
Looking at those grasses
Or may be imagining their growth
He thought of keeping them low
and ordered a lawn cutting machine.

Rain has almost come to an end
Or may be it has disappeared for a while
only to come back again later.
So, she planned for a "date"
with her other half;
She thought it will be nice
to see the kids in the field
like the butterflies touching grasses
and spreading their wings...

But he is way too careful
about his flower tubs
which are kept along the road
and could be destroyed by
irresponsible monsters;
Yes, he imagined them
as little monsters....

Thinking through the idea
that those monsters could destroy his garden,
he cancelled her "date"
and broke her heart.

Lucknow, India

Soft Toy

On her 34th birthday
She received a wonderful soft toy.
Excited and thrilled
She opened the blue box
And a polar bear peeped.

Many times before that
She thought of buying one
But then decided to buy things which
were absolutely necessary.
Besides there was no fun
in buying a soft toy by herself.
Without any passport and visa
the bear had already traveled three countries.

Lucknow, India

Before the autumn

Days will pass like this until December
Or more than that...
Before the next autumn
When leaves will slowly prepare
to leave their tree-mother
by changing color from green to
yellow, red, and reddish brown;

Before such autumn begins
I would like to leave with a warm heart.

Lucknow, India 

Blunt People

Blunt people
don't get pain.
Because they go with the flow.
It's the intelligent and intellectuals
who suffer most in this world.
On the contrary, they enjoy life being blunt. 

Above all, we do like to spend our lives
with good human beings,
who are generous, selfless, and lack ego.
But is that the only thing we desire?
What is the value of all goodness
if there is no analytical power
and if one only listens to you
and doesn't share their opinion?

Lucknow, India

Children

 I like to see them from a distance
 Like observing flowers
lying on the top of a tree.
How can you not like children? She asked
---Is it mandatory to like them?
No, not mandatory.
But all women like.
I was annoyed and showed it on my face.
Like others, she said you would change.
--May be. I shrugged my shoulders.

[Hey, don't judge me
because I don't judge you
for your excessive desire to have them]

I knew I don't hate them
but I am not very fond of them either
especially those who look like
crimson-colored little mice
asleep on your arms.

Lucknow, India

[Note: Seems like inspired by the style of Nissim Ezekiel]

Bakrid 2019

The boy in the back-alley
pushed the goat and swayed
some green leaves in front of it.
Out of greed or hunger
the goat moved a bit.

Since Saturday afternoon
I heard weeping of another
Sometimes very loud, sometimes muffled...
The animal knew the time had come.

When rain came in the evening
Its weeping got mixed with the raindrops
Many don't notice that the sound of the drops differs;
When it falls on the ground in the beginning
It is more like a loud cry;
And later it just weeps incessantly
without giving a break.

Lucknow, India

Madhumalati

The way I write about you
No one would understand
the way it is written;
The script wouldn't be deciphered
even after many many years.
No one would know
I was always there by your side
I was so close to you but so far away.
I was so entangled--like a Madhumalati 
Yet so separated.

Lucknow, India

Recitation of Madhumalati  https://soundcloud.com/priyanka-ghosh-417246822/madhumalati

******************************************************************************

এমনভাবে তোমার কথা লিখি
যে কেউ বুঝবে না
এমনভাবে তোমার কথা লেখা হয়
যে হাজার হাজার বছর পরেও
কেউ জানবে না যে
আমি তোমার সাথে এইভাবে ছিলাম।
এতো কাছে অথচ এতো দূরে...
এতো জড়িয়ে --- যেন মধুমালতী
অথচ এতো পৃথক।

I called your name

You were there in my dream
You were there in my consciousness
You were there in my feelings...
Last night with each toss and turn
I called your name.
Only in the early morning
when the light of dawn touched my window
I fell asleep and
you left my place.


Lucknow, India

**************************************************************
 স্বপ্নের মধ্যে ছিলে
 জাগরণেও ছিলে
 কাল সারা রাত
 তুমি আমার অনুভবে ছিলে।
 তারপর ভোরের আলো ফুটতেই
 তুমি আমায় ঘুম পাড়িয়ে
 চলে গেলে।

Unconditional Love

These days
He has fallen in love with his own beard.
Twice a day or more than that
he observes his beard
and adores it unconditionally.

Since the day
he has known that
his beard can illuminate
a poet's imagination
and his beard also can be
a source of illusion
He has deeply fallen in love with his own beard.

Lucknow, India

Thereafter

Thereafter?
She asked.
I noticed her eyebrow
soft and thick,
like the feather of an egret;
I saw--twilight had settled on her eyelid.
--Thereafter...you didn't complete your story.
--She said
--What could I say anymore?

The prince of the story was alone.
He had an entire empire, yet alone.
He had a queen, yet alone.
--Why lonely even though he had a queen?
Here I paused.
I took some time and then answered...
Because the queen had her own business
And queen couldn't touch the bottom of king's mind.

Lucknow, India 

******************************************************************************
তারপর
সে চোখ তুলে বললে
আমি দেখলাম তার ভুরু
বকের পাখার পালকের মত
ঘন, নিবিড়
আর তার চোখের পাতায়
সন্ধ্যার মায়াবী আলো

তারপর --
গল্পটা বললে না তো?
সে চোখ তুলে বললে
গল্প আর কি বলবো বলো?
গল্পের রাজপুত্র সব কিছু পেয়েও একা
রাজ্যপাট পেয়ে, রানী পেয়েও বড় একা...
কেন রানী পেয়েও একা কেন?
কেননা রানী রানীর মতো থাকে
রানী বোঝেনা না রাজার মন।
--ও তাই বুঝি?
সে চোখ তুলে বললে
আমি দেখলাম তার চোখের তারায় হাসি
বিদ্যুতের মতো সে হাসি লুকিয়ে পড়লো মেঘের আড়ালে।

When I bleed

I am as pure as a lotus
when I bleed.
I am as pure as the heavenly light
when I bleed.

I haven't told her
I touched Gita
Or watered a plant
during those days
when I am considered unclean.
I would even enter those spaces
where I am not supposed to enter
when I am considered unclean.

She gave me a Quran
and told not to touch
when I bleed;
I was in a dilemma
Do I have the right to hurt
Someone else's belief?

Purity depends on your thoughts
not on rituals;
Even you follow all the rituals
and your thoughts are unclean
You will not become a butterfly
Or a beautiful lotus ready to be offered
on the feet of divine.

Lucknow, India

Mystery Solved

That day,
sitting closer to you
I felt like a calm river
and like a cooling breeze
coming from the Gomti.

That day, first time
I was able to see you clearly.
Even though I have seen you many times
My heart's desire to see you more
never got properly quenched.

That day, for the first time
I was able to solve the puzzle of color--
The color of your beard
became distinct in the daylight.

Lucknow, India

On a rainy day

It was not an ordinary day.
Rain was constantly pouring from the sky
The city was feeling wet and soft
We took shelter under your blue umbrella.

When the city was drenching
---we were walking
We were half dry and half wet;
The umbrella couldn't save us completely.
Yet we were not bothered...

While it rained 
We were busy in resting our hands on our chests
and bring out the similar elements of our souls.
The souls having no shape felt light
We took out our souls on our palms
And gave away to each other.

Lucknow, India

Gomti

Gomti, be a woman again
Not a feeble one;
A strong yet not scared to be vulnerable
Not scared to speak up
and give voice to those
who cannot speak for themselves.

Gomti, I will not be here always
to praise you, to love you
to touch you gently
and to smell you
(even you do smell bad sometimes)

Gomti, when I am not here
Please do remember
how I loved you
with all my tenderness. 

Lucknow, India

Happy

Last night
It was heavy and I wished
I could take serotonin
and lift my mood! 

Today, I feel like a floating cloud
The rain came to a halt and left the sky behind. 
Blue sky and sunshine
always make me happy!

(Note: Take away message: serotonin 😁😁)

Tea Party

If you ever invite me
If you ever have such thought
Then please invite me to a tea party.

Like today's evening
Where twilight arrived from the heaven
In such an evening
we would sit together.

Like this wet evening
We would get drenched by our memories
memories---some sweet and some sour
While cherishing those,
we would drop the sugar cubes
and a bit of rain in our tea.

Lucknow, India

Rain and Twilight

The twilight arrived
It was full of heavenly love!
The rain welcomed him.
The city silently drenched...
Along with it
All white and red colored houses;
When rain comes...
It wipes off all our distances
It wipes out all our past and present conflicts
and tell us not to come out of this love
not to fall out...

Like the twilight, rain says
"you two" are from a different world
a world which cannot be imagined
by ordinary humans.

Lucknow, India

Revolutionary-romantic

I am not only "you"
I am all those things
beyond "you"
I am all those things
before "you" came in my life.
So, in my heart
I am a revolutionary poet
And a romantic--
Who always searched for you.

Lucknow, India

Ego

You remain silent 
My words flow...
You love reading my words;

I have so many questions
I find your answer by my own
I put words on your lips
So, I am the sole director of our play.


I have ego
Why should I talk alone?
Why should I wait for your answer?
Why should I direct the play?

You remain silent
My words flow...
One day I would become silent too.

Lucknow, India

I am, your muse

I had decorated the sky in blue color
You didn't show up.
I had decorated the floor
with soft green carpet
You didn't sit on that.
Like the muse of Omar Khayyam
I wanted to hold the chalice
closer to your lips and
fill it up with unending flow of wine
You didn't fulfill my wish.

Lucknow, India

Null and Void

We have emptiness inside us.
As our ending is going to be a tragic one;

From now and in future
Whatever we would do
We have to face our own vacuum.
Our souls would become fragile sand
of a migratory dune;
With the storm,
One day there will be no more sand and
Our souls will look at the universe
like the void chamber of human eye.

Lucknow, India

Enough Reason

There is enough reason
to leave you in your own state.
There is enough reason for me
not to be with you.
The first and foremost is that
You lacked inner consciousness to find me.

On the contrary,
throughout my journey with people and places
I looked for the one who can truly understands me.
When my thought centers around the fact
that you didn't even try to find me
my whole body shrinks...
And I feel a storm of resentment
piling up inside.
The green-colored monster then says
Well, let him live with his emptiness
As he deserves such fate.
So, when my thought centers around the fact
that you didn't even try to find me
I am unable to forgive you.

As I let you live with your emptiness
I let myself live with the same vacuum. 


Lucknow, India

We and the Canvas

In that passing glance
and with your cheerful face
from the other side of the window...
We painted the moment with our true emotions.


Beyond all material things
and this material world
where people maintain a ledger
I would like you to remember me in that moment!
I would like you to remember us in our smiles!
Because we were bare and pure.


When we met after many months
monsoon has already arrived in the city
making the road muddy and full of potholes. 
Thanks to the rain and water
that made you wait there for some seconds
and gave me a chance to freeze the moment on my canvas.

Lucknow, India

Two Stars

We are two distant stars
twinkling in the same sky
yet million light-years apart.

Lucknow, India

Like

Even though I write love poems
Let me try a "like" poem on you.

I like liking you
And I like missing you
Do I need to like you in whole?
No, no, I can like you
                      in bits and pieces too.
I like this feeling of liking you.
I like seeing you in blue
I like choosing color for you
I like I don't even know your birthday
So, I have no pressure of finding
                     perfect gift for you.
I like liking you
And I like loving you
I like liking you
And I like missing you.

Lucknow,  India

Belonging

You belong to me
You belong to me
Like my own throbbing heart.

Lucknow, India

Morning

This morning is beautiful
This morning is that one
When I can see you closing my eyes.

Outside the city is burning
under the scorching summer heat.
Inside--the joy of first snowfall.

Snow has covered everything.
Snow has covered even the memory lane
Touching that snow slowly
And touching you softly
I walk down the lane.

Lucknow, India

Note: Translated from the Bengali poem written on 18th March, 2018

***********************************************************************************

অদ্ভুত সুন্দর সকাল এক
চোখ বুজলে যেসব ভোরে
তোমাকে দেখতে পাই
সেসব ভোর কত সিন্গ্ধ, কত শান্ত।

বাইরে প্রচন্ড তাপ
গনগনে সূর্য ঝলসে দিচ্ছে শহর
অথচ ভিতরে বছরকার প্রথম তুষারপাত।

তিন ইঞ্চি বরফ জমে আছে
স্মৃতির সরণিতে
আর তারই মধ্যে পা ফেলে
    অবিরল হেঁটে যাওয়া
তোমায় ছুঁয়ে।

She and Neo

These days--
Sometimes it feels slow like a sluggish river
Sometimes heavy like the monsoon cloud
And sometimes it feels fast.

Last year, even she was here during this time!
We walked on the wet grass
Had tickling on our feet
Watched sunrise, birds, and playful puppies.

It has been more than a year
that I have started living without him
Slowly I may lose the details of our lives
--the time we spent together.
 
I used to drive on campus
to pick him up around midnight or even late
I enjoyed coloring his hair
and pretended like an expert
The country gave him lot of stress
and gradually gray hair.

We often had our coffee at Starbucks
And early morning while returning
we had hash brown waffles at Waffle House
Sometimes we even stopped at IHOP
In summer, we used to become night owls.

These days without him...
I live,
I breathe,
and survive.

Lucknow, India

Shooting Star

Like a shooting star
I will vanish
Like a shooting star
I will move away.
If this idea of leaving behind everything
fills me with happiness and joy
Let's think over it again and again.
So, like a shooting star
I will vanish
like a shooting star
I will move away---from you.

Lucknow, India

Morning Rain

The morning rain brought you;
I opened my eyes
I heard the sound of heavy shower.
The soft light already filled up my room
and I felt soft, softer.

The morning rain flooded my balcony
and touched the door
To see what's happening
I came out and found you standing at the corner.
You were smiling. 

Your hair was wet
Your shirt too.
You didn't have shoes.
I asked how did you reach?
You didn't answer.
I looked at you
and noticed that rain kissed your lips
and made it more puffed than usual.
You were too irresistible!

Then we had our silence
We both looked at the rain
and started drenching.

Lucknow, India.

No Destination

The curly one is lost
and lacks motivation
Probably, this generation
is more confused
about their destinations than us.

The curly one is lost
But initially had potential!
Either there is too much liberty
Or there is too much conservatism
Which propels her to find loopholes.

The curly one is lost
Or may be way too diplomatic than us
So, whatever is told
---all go in vain.

The curly one is lost
It could be that she is surrounded by an environment
which does not promote women's liberty
or may be an environment which only focuses
on limited empowerment.

The curly one is lost
And if she is lost
Only she has the power to find
her way back home.


Lucknow, India 

Writer's Block

This separation is painful
I don't even understand
If we are okay or not...
Is this a dissociation?
Is there a sense of detachment?
Without you it's easier to hide my face
Without you it's easier to hide my emotions
And keep us safe.

Whenever you came 
There was such an unnecessary commotion
among people--people seeking opportunities
for new things, gains...that I felt overwhelmed

This separation is like
waiting for monsoon rain in Jaisalmer
Or waiting to find an oasis in Sahara
Without you I fear...soon
I am going to have a writer's block.

Lucknow, India

Naive

She was young and naive
So, she was hurt by the older people;
She was young and naive
So, she was hurt by those
who always loved others for something;

She is still naive at heart
She still loves the same way
---the way she did in the past;
The difference is...
She has become a turtle on the coast
who protects herself from bruising.

Lucknow, India

Stunning Man (?)

Could he be called a stunning man?
The answer is "NO"
Let's break this stereotype of
using the word "stunning" only to female.
Can't a man be stunning?
Could he be called a stunning man?
The answer is "NO"
He is a decent guy
with a good heart.

Lucknow, India 

Fleshing Out

Your positive gesture
Your posture of giving water
to the preoccupied lady and
Your slender body...
I haven't forgotten.

If you know me well
by this time you should have known
I don't forget anything!

As my muse
As my soul mate and
As my lover;
Just learn the fact
that poetry doesn't allow
indulgence of any adipose tissue. :)

Lucknow, India

***********************************************************************
Note: On the other hand a poet gaining adipose tissue is acceptable (?)
Could a poet be inspired by a plumpish muse?
Or the conclusion could be ---beauty lies in the eyes of beholder (?)

Our Unique Love

In solitary
when I think of us
I think of our beautiful yet
intense beginning;
I remember your waiting
And your intangible embrace,
I remember your "coming out" to me. 

I know you won't be angry or offended
Even after my harsh criticism
'cause, we have rain in our hearts
that drips, drips, dripping....

I know, it becomes difficult
And it is often painful;
After all, it is not easy to love a feminist!
Or for a feminist it's not easy to love
someone who is culturally conditioned.

Yet, our love survives all odds
And we still hold hand
from miles apart.

Lucknow, India

Critical Note: I am attacked by the "patriarchy" bug. And I need to rectify that. The moment I say it is not easy to love a feminist, then I am considering the whole idea of feminism as an alien thing.Though, in the next line I say it is equally difficult for a feminist to love a person who values social norms and don't want to break traditions as well as don't protest against things that are imposed on them. May be I was trying to say for most men, who follow social norms because they are supposed to follow out of social pressure, loving a feminist is not easy especially in a country like India where patriarchy is still a strong pillar. Also, I do feel there is no such thing like "social pressure" unless you take that pressure on yourself deliberately. However, it does take a lot of courage to ignore such pressure and gain autonomy.

বিরহী

বৃষ্টি......
এক দেশ থেকে যায় অন্য দেশে
সুবর্ণপুরের ধানক্ষেত যখন ভিজে একশা
তখন বিমানবন্দরের একলা শালিখটি
একেবারে শুকনো খটখটে
পালক ভেজেনি একটুও।
এসব কি কবিতা হয় ?
প্রতিদিনের কবিতা......

বৃষ্টি......
আজ বিরহীর পথে
ভুলবশতঃ নেমেছিলুম
বি.স.ফ. এর ক্যাম্প পেরিয়ে
জলাজঙ্গল পেরিয়ে,
কাঠ কাঠ গাছ পেরিয়ে,
কিভাবে পৌঁছে গেলুম জানি না......

বৃষ্টি......
এদেশে জল দিলে এমন
যে আগুন নিভে যায় আর
ও দেশের মাটি খরায় চৌচির

বৃষ্টি.............জানো
ছেলেটির জন্মদিনে আর কবিতা লিখি না ।

(Written back on 20.03.2005)

***********************************************************************************

Rain......
You visit one land to the other
When the paddy fields of Subarnapur are wet
the lonely Myna at the airport is completely dry.
All of these----Could we call it a poem?
Everyday poem......

Rain......
Today, I got off at Birahi
It was by mistake
I never knew how I reached there
crossing the woody trees
Nor I knew how I went beyond the BSF camp......

Rain......
You put out fires in one place
And without you others get drought

Rain......You know
I no longer write
poem on his birthday.

One String

Nor you or I
abandon each other
Nor we need to question
each other's loyalty
We---two sides of the same coin
are always one string---
playing the same music.

Lucknow, India