The Motion Picture

Sometimes I feel
there is no point writing to you.
My communication is one-sided
It is me who weaves words together
and makes a beautiful garland
It is me who is the master of our story
--the director of the motion picture;


Sometimes I feel there is no hope between us.
The happiness we had--the fleeting happiness
which reflected and refracted and finally reached
to both of us was often smeared with blood
As I am not able to understand
where you belong in the broader spectrum
of our community, I am unable to take a decision.
But before leaving, if there is only silence
You won't receive any more dialogues from this director;
Every picture has an end--either happy or tragic.

LKO

Fear and Escape

I have started to fear your city
I have started to fear my own voice
I have started to fear confronting people
I have started to fear institutional culture
I feel the city would never grow up nor its people..
(Or they are too much grown up that it is hard to comprehend ?)
They would remain immature and imbecile
I am waiting to escape
I want to forget all about it
like how we try to forget a nightmare.

LKO

Flashback 2012

Flashback 2012...
New Delhi Airport-domestic terminal
I was flying back to my hometown
after attending a workshop.
I was waiting at the gate of Air India
Boarding would start in a minute;
And then, all of a sudden
I couldn't believe my eyes...
The five feet eight inch tall
My "hill girl" is leaving through the gate;
The situation wasn't feasible to call her
among other flight attendants.
And I wasn't sure if she would recall me
We haven't met after we left college.
But she turned back....like how
SRK says "palat"on the silver screen
She turned back and smiled at me!
and indicated that she would meet me inside the aircraft.
The journey from Delhi became memorable
She treated me as her special guest,
called me from my seat and I sat with her in that small space
where air hostesses are only allowed to seat.
It was lovely to catch up with each other after a long time...
And it was indeed pleasant to see that she had become
what she wanted to be..I reminded her that--
Once she said she would become an air hostess...
She said--did she ?
I said-YES.

LKO

Hurt

He will be hurt one day
Let him hurt a bit.
He had hurt me
He had hurt the Golden Girl
He will be hurt one day
and that is much needed
to compensate all our hurt. 

LKO

The Secret of Coming Out

In the ACE world
My entry is late
I am still unsure if I
would want to come out publicly
and walk the ramp with pride.
I do feel the urge though
The stronger urge is that
I want to walk the ramp with pride
having Farooq by my side--which
seems almost impossible in this lifetime.

I am happy to come out to
my close friends and Neo-my boyfriend
Who helped me to somewhat understand myself
but I didn't fully understand until I met
my perfect other half--Farooq.
So, Farooq, I share a secret today...
We came out together---me first
then extended my hand towards you..
We came out in the same city
Your hometown--my exile.


LKO