No more rain!

No more rain please!
Please no!

Whenever I meet her
I bring those dreary clouds
who would drench the city
with my little touch
And who would also flood
her school-building.

So, no more rain please!
Please no!

Whenever I meet her
Some words float
While some remain sealed
And half-an hour at once
becomes half-minute.

Kolkata, India

(Translated keeping the original sense. Written back on 23.06.2002)

He disappeared

While walking he disappeared.
Actually, he didn't walk;
It was his onion-colored punjabi
which was completely gobbled up by the thick column;
And at that very moment
I felt cold ...

As long as he leaves his specs on the table
Or the book whose pages quiver in the wind
I feel his warmth!
And then when he leaves...

Why does he leave before me?
Why does he leave me alone?

Kolkata, India

(Translated from the Bengali poem written on 15.12.2002)

 ***********************************************************************
The original Bengali one...

হাঁটতে হাঁটতে ও অদৃশ্য হয়ে গেল↿
আসলে হাঁটছে যেন ও নয়,
হাঁটচ্ছে ওর পেয়াঁজখসি পাঞ্জাবিটা
--একটু আগে যার কোণটুকু
মোটা থামের মতো দেয়ালটা খেয়ে ফেললো;
অমনি আমার পায়ের নিচে
প্রবল শৈত্যরা জড়ো হলো↿
যতোক্ষন ওর চশমাটা টেবিলের ওপর পড়ে থাকে
অথবা যতোক্ষন ওর বইগুলো
মাটিতে এলেমেলো শুয়ে
ফর ফর করে পাতা ওড়ায়
ততোক্ষন আমি উষ্ণ থাকি;
আর তারপর ও চলে গেলে...
বার বার কেন ও আমাকেই
একা ফেলে যায়?

You would walk alone

You would walk alone
You would walk alone
Along the winding mountain road;

You would go up
And You would go down

              To reach
              To touch
              To smell...

The green valley
The white clouds
The wild flowers.

Kolkata, India

(Translated poem; written in 2002-03.)




     

Khajuraho Paintings

My beloved
I remember
your side parting
And your lips
on which I can put mine
to carve khajuraho paintings.

Kolkata, India

I do not desire

I do not desire you anymore
However, I can live my life
by dreaming about you
by thinking of you...

Please come
Please let's be playful and
seize the beauty of moon in the cool water.

My dream beckons.....
The darkness spreads under the Krishnachura
My imagination sleeps in that shadow...

I do not desire you anymore
I do not.

Your blurred face
Your leaning body
Your indifferent look
I can spend my life with that...

Kolkata, India

(Translated; The Bengali poem was written on 26.03.2003).

Silent Dark Night

A still and silent night
I see the shooting stars;
Sitting alone in such a silent night
I have thought many times
to extend my hand towards you.

But I know
I cannot and
You cannot.

I cannot extend my hand
And you cannot keep yours on mine.
So, I sit still
I see the shooting stars in a dark, silent night.

(Translated poem; Original was written on 6.10.2002)

Please do not show

Please do not show your wound
No, not anymore.
Please spend these chilly nights alone!
Please spend this time in disguise, in secret.
You do not need to explain
Because I know
That your heart is full of storm;
But let it be like that
let it not be rain.

Kolkata, India

(Translated and expanded the original meaning of a poem written in 28.04.2002)

My heart sinks....

When I am sad
The sky becomes sad too...
And then all the clouds suddenly appear to mourn.

Rain Rain Rain
Everything floats...
Words, Smell, Scenes,
And her kajal....

I try to forget
I try hard;
My heart sinks...
And the next day
And the next...

Kolkata, India

(Translated from a Bengali poem written on 23.05.2002)

Please come

In my city
rain has come early this time...
So, will you come?

Will you come like the old days?
Will you bring back the memory of past summer?
Will you wear the purple colored saree 
Or my favorite light yellow one?
Will you come?


Please come....

(Translated and slightly modified from a Bengali poem written back in 2002-03).

Kolkata, India 

****************************************************************************
The original Bengali one...

এবার তো বর্ষা নেমেছে আগে
আসবে কি তবে
পুরোনো দিনের মতো
গত গ্রীস্মের ছবি নিয়ে
বেগুনি শাড়ির পাড়েতে
কখনো বা বাসন্তী আঁচলে।

Other half

It's the only solace I have
that you exist
My other half
my beloved, you exist!

I have traveled
miles after miles...
under the starry nights,
under the rain and snowstorm;
And finally one day
I found you
standing on the bank of the river;
I saw your shadow
in her cool, watery eyes.

Lucknow, India

A poem to a poet

Let's live in moments again
Let's love again---
               the morning mist
               the chilly night
               And our warm eyes!

Let's get up from the bed once again
And have the courage
               to color our lips with vibrant red;
Let's spread our wings
And let's fly over the cliff one last time.

Lucknow, India

Right to exist

I have
I have right
I have right to exist
At one corner of this galaxy.
If not in your heart;
I have
I have right
I have right to exist
in this universe.

Lucknow, India

Don't Touch!

Don't you dare touch my girls!
They are like flying birds
They are here on this Earth
for few moments....
And are preparing to fly
high above the ground
    and to the unknown world;
 With their thick red lips
   and silky black hair
they are only to be appreciated
  from a distance;
So, don't you dare touch my girls.

Lucknow, India.

A Poet

Around him
there were lot of women!
different type, different kind.
But he had only words, sunshine, and rain
So, nobody stayed
And left him alone...
In the end, the world is indeed cruel.
Who would want to accept hardship willingly?

Lucknow, India 

Vision

In my city
it was as usual busy.
My friend and I took an auto in South Kolkata.

I never told you this before.
I saw you once
Your face appeared like a lightning
at the horizon.
And after our first meeting
your face kept coming back in subconscious
until the day you became
a monsoon cloud and left your shadow on the glass door.

Lucknow, India

Cigarette

The first attempt failed
The second one was successful!
It was those initial days
When one learns how to smoke a cig.

He watched me
and came straight to our table
sat opposite to me
audaciously keeping his legs on the table
and asked for a fag. 

Though a bit surprised
I lit up his.

Lucknow, India

Nomadic Love

You stepped on that hot sand
And left for the camp;
You never knew
there was a wild seed underneath...
Next season the flower bloomed.

You drank tea and took rest for a day;
You never knew
I saved your cup.

Lucknow, India

Life after death

I cannot be part of this world
which lacks originality and sincerity.
I cannot be part of this world
where words are twisted and often convoluted.

This country-which is my birthplace
is suffering from a disease
A disease which has affected most of the people
A disease which demonstrates advancement
not in our thoughts or nor in our deeds
But only in words.

I--standing alone here and
absorbing the northern wind...
It seems this life is a burden.
I-standing alone here and
absorbing the northern wind...
only waiting to be free.

Lucknow, India

Flag

Near the library we met.
It was a fall afternoon;

You were happy to see me
And you were happy to say--
"You look like an American Flag."

Lucknow, India

Oblivion

I know your nature
Because I know me!
Whoever comes to you
You would give shelter and warmth.

You have a compassionate heart----
the heart which would travel even thousand miles
                                      to look for water in the desert.
In the midst of delivering all these shelter and warmth
you were completely oblivious of us.

Lucknow, India

Reaching

When this season of sorrow ends,
Put kajol in your beautiful eyes
And come to the seashore
wearing an ocean-blue salwar suit;

Once you reach there
Once you start your journey
You would find me waiting
under the shade of a giant cactus.

Lucknow, India

Burden

Living here is a burden.
Unless I can fly;
These concrete structures are
                   like the lianas of rainforest--
entangled to each other in such a way
                   that it would hurt you deeply
if you ever try to fly: Fly high, higher!

Living here is a burden
Living here is a burden

Even though the sky is occasionally blue
Living here is a burden.

Whenever I thought of leaving you
Whenever I wanted to cross the doorstep  
Your pale and painful face emerges
                 like the flashing light at the horizon.

Lucknow, India
         
                   

Happy Colors of Life!

She painted white pots
She painted flowers with
                    happy colors of life--red, orange, pink, and yellow!
The leaves were always drawn with different shades of green.

The smaller and other "she"
used to observe her and occasionally
drew flowers, trees, waves, and oceans.

There was no Happy Puja for her.
She was always busy with painting.
Those white colored pots were her canvas and her southern breeze!

Lucknow, India
                                                                          
                                                                          
                                                                    

Pearl

With this rising sun
it becomes painful thinking that
you couldn't keep faith on me
and you didn't wait!

You never stood by the seashore
looking for the pearl
hidden in the oyster.

Lucknow, India

Your White Shirt

Your white shirt
Your waiting
Like rain but
a rain that gets interrupted
by the skyscrapers;
by the window pane and
by the high wall--built to avoid the trespassers.

Your white shirt
And your waiting
made me HAPPY
made me SAD!

Lucknow, India

I am

I cannot be molded or bent
by the norms or rules set by the society;
I can only be reached through LOVE.
Even, ordinary love is not sufficient for my hunger
Love which is beyond any ledger;
Only that can touch my soul!

Lucknow, India

Prayer

Please hear my prayer!
Take me to the other side of the shore
from where I came.

Since I arrived,
I know in my mind
my days are counted here
                 irrespective of my situation.

Please give me your strength
to perform your task

And let me finish the work
so that I can leave with peace.

Lucknow, India

Sleepless Night

Sitting alone in a lighted room
You were waiting for me!
It seemed to me
you had a sleepless night!
Though you never told me that nor anyone else.

You had a sleepless night!
Probably, you had too much work
Or you read my each poetry--one by one
And you wondered how I survived!
Or how I am still alive...

You had a sleepless night!
So, when I reached closer to you in the morning
                                                along with others
You were waiting for me!
While standing next to each other
I felt your tight hug ; And I silently said
Baby, please get some sleep tonight.

Lucknow, India

Her tender eyes

Within a moment,
I saw so many colors on her face!
First, a light shade of yellow-ocher,
then a tinge of blue like the deep ocean bottom;
Then her face suddenly turned into a gray colored canvas
on which the artist started painting monsoon clouds...
Slowly the dark clouds spread everywhere
only leaving behind her tender, big eyes
---filled with love and yearning.

Lucknow, India

(Note: Could have been much better but very difficult to express in words!) .

Limitless

Do you remember
when we first time held hand
from two different places
which were miles apart?

Whenever, we hold hand
We become limitless!
We are then spread everywhere
We are on the earth;
In water, fire, air and ether.

Lucknow, India

Twinkles

The way I see sweet twinkles in your eyes (for me)
I never saw that in his!
While sitting alone and pondering over your twinkles again,
I suddenly start asking question
-- was it real or was it only my imagination?

Lucknow, India

Minus 2-4

It was between minus 2-4 degree Celsius
And I opened the back door of the tallest building on South Campus
I came out and stood there to breathe!
I was not able to feel anything nor think.

It started snowing!
Betrayed by my close friend
Or whom I thought close
I stood there standstill
It started snowing
It still snows!

Lucknow, India 

Bleeding

My heart bled again
Irrespective of her effort to be a better person
she cannot be too inclusive
because of her exposure to a cultural region
which is the breeding ground of right wing nationalism.
The difference in ideology
sometimes becomes so prominent
that I suddenly start cringing. 
In our country, we--people of Bengal and Punjab
even today feel the pain of partition.
Probably, the way we would understand
Manto and Chughtai; No body would!

Lucknow, India

(Note: A bit biased. Anybody can feel the pain of partition if they want to!). 

Crux and Specs

Dear, thanks for managing my mess up!
Sometimes my casual US and Presi modes are so much on
that I forget I am in India
where hierarchy is maintained.

But I am not here to convey this message to you.
The Crux is that people say things about you
in front of me and I secretly enjoy that maintaining my naivety.
Like Zakir Khan I just say three things--"huh, achha, thik hain"
Finally, the crux is she didn't like your specs!


Lucknow, India

We are not separate

We are not separate
We are two sides of the same coin.

These days I see you by the seashore.
You are walking on the sand
wearing a white kurta-- almost transparent
(Have you ever tried a transparent one?)

The sea is behind you.
Your face is wet
Your beard is humid
Your feet soiled in sand
As you walked towards the coast
You left your footprints on the damp ground.

By the time I reached there
You were gone!
And the cruel waves washed all of your footprints.

Lucknow, India

When you are there

When you are there
The sky looks blue, more blue;
When you are there
The dry grass becomes green, more green;

When you are there
The dreadful, cold desert gains warmth
and twinkles under the moonlight like a bright sword;
When you are there
My mind listens to the music of eternal spring.


Lucknow, India

Note: Translated from my Bengali poem written in 2002-03. 

Indian mother-in-laws

Even in 2018,
North Indian women are under a lot of pressure!
They have pressure of procreation
if they live with their in-laws under the same roof;
Most mother-in-laws in India
Never love their daughter-in-laws
like they love their sons!
Indian mother-in-laws are too insecure
And I feel pity for them.
Indian mother-in-laws don't understand
the basic rule of love;
If love is shared
with enough affection, space, and respect
that only expands and brings happiness.


Lucknow, India

Calmness

I would love to learn one thing from you
And that is how to remain clam around a person
who would answer just based on her faith
and not based on available evidence & literature!
There is no place for our own belief system in science.

Sometimes I feel buying tons of ice blocks
and place those on my head to cool down.
So, could you lend me your calmness?

Lucknow, India

Balanced!

Dear, think about June and July!
How we spent those two months;
Don't you think it was insane?
Our energies are balanced now
And it's time to focus
And for me it's time to get some work done!

Lucknow, India

Little Bird

You are a little bird
You are learning to fly!
Once your wings become strong
You won't need me.

Lucknow, India

The City of Joy

It seems that I never made a truce with her
except certain pockets,
where I truly felt liberated and happy.

Those days, we were on cloud nine!
Holding cig in style
We used to have long discussion
       either on the bench of our famous Presi canteen
      Or at the Lovers' Lane
Those days, we felt free like birds
And we were ready to change the world
with our anger and enthusiasm,

Those days, we could buy a cig
from the tiny shop just below the Coffee House
Those days, we used to ask
Dada--One Gold Flake Please
Or when we had enough money
We used to have Marlboro Lights

It seems that I never made a truce with her!
Still one string attached in my hometown
Once gone, I would become
an eternal migrant having no roots;
Once gone, I would become
an eternal migrant with lots of agony in my heart.

Lucknow, India 

Calling

When the city flooded
and many people found themselves
stranded in water,
You called.
You called
and I felt you were missing me!
You called.
But you called the wrong person. :)

Lucknow, India 
 

Peace

How hard I try to keep my life simple and straight
It has a natural tendency to attract complexity!
Amidst all these complexities
When I see your glowing face and bright eyes
I find peace and happiness.

Lucknow, India

Serotonin

If I am near you
You don't need serotonin
for mood upliftment! 😊

Lucknow, India

Offbeat

Your attraction towards
independent and offbeat women
comes from your mother's side.
Last April, it was a pleasure to see you enjoying
              with one of the unconventional women of the city.

Lucknow, India

Bugs Bunny

When I carefully thought about your smile
I found a happy rabbit!
Somehow, we both share the trait
of the Bugs Bunny.

Lucknow, India

Conditional Love

Her love was conditional
But mine was not.

I loved her not because of her Greek Boy
I loved her the way she was.
It seems that I haven't forgiven her
And somewhere the wound is hidden.
I need to forgive myself
and I need to forgive her.

Let's only remember the good things between us
The happy moments we spent together...
Let's close our account in this life only
So that I don't meet you again in my next life.

Lucknow, India

Century

You have scored 100/100.
And you have passed
the pretension test with flying colors!
You have done so well
that I was clean-bowled today.
Losing my wicket didn't make me sad
Rather, I was the happiest person
to see your victory.

Lucknow, India

Forest and Tiger

It seemed, but not sure.
Your beard has grown.
Now, it's impossible to tell how much
as I don't keep a scale nor I
roam with a sewing tape in my pocket.
A woman (whom I don't believe completely) explained
the conceptual background of keeping beard for men
But that concept is too hilarious for me!
Anyway, it seemed (but not sure)
that your beard has grown
And a Bengal tiger
can easily hide there for a while to avoid the poachers.
So, if it has grown too much
And if you feel that it has grown too much
Then please trim a bit! 😊


Lucknow, India

Intersection

If I suddenly see you
like the past evening,
The lines I have created so far for you
start emerging in front of me!
It reminded me the cliff
from which I had seen you
when I turned back while taking a winding road.
For a moment, it seemed to me
I was living between my own
imagination and reality.


Lucknow, India 

This place

People who know me fundamentally
as a human being
they are aware of the fact
that I don't deserve living in this place.
But the problem is
I am too confused between
my home country and a foreign one.

Lucknow, India.

H-29

I have written some of my best poems
while living in this room.
As I try not to cling to anything
I let it go...
It's the time for a new beginning!

Lucknow, India

Subarnarekha

I talk to myself
I talk to myself with the tune of Fajr
and with the raga of Isha.
When I traveled to Ghatshila
You were with me;
When I reached on the bank of Subarnarekha
You were with me;
When I touched the sand, gravels, and pebbles
You were with me;
And when I picked up a wild flower and
pressed it against my cheek
The setting sun turned into a reddish fireball!

Lucknow, India
(Translated and modified from the Bengali poem; dated: 10.01.03)

That pen

I am looking for that pen
that I have used to bleed my heart!

Have you seen my pen mom?
Have you seen my pen di?

I looked for the pen
at every nook and corner of my house.
The pen which can identify me in the crowd
The pen which can separate me from thousands "me"
I am looking for that pen!
I am loving only that pen!

Lucknow, India

(Translated from the Bengali poem; dated: 13.07.2003)

Please touch the sky

You are becoming small and small;
Day by day, you are becoming puny.
A small room along with its small veranda
And a bit of sky above you
But you were not like this!

You always stood under the wide open sky
And you built your room and veranda below it.
You used to increase or decrease the size of your room
as per your necessity.

You always wanted to enlarge your heart
You always wanted broadness and expansion so much
                                     that your heart bled ceaselessly
But you never liked the small room
                                      and its small veranda.
So, please be like that YOU
Who always wanted to touch the sky.

Kolkata, India

Note: Translated from the Bengali poem written on 07.05.2002

I loved you!

I loved you!
Yes, YOU and your Greek boy;
I didn't know deception
So, I didn't conceal my warm breadth.

I reached out to you again and again
hiding all storms deep inside my heart;
I thought you would embrace your insane daughter
the way you embraced your son;

You said I was sentimental
But had you ever known that
I didn't reveal my sentiment to everyone.

Whenever I stopped at your door
I transformed to a calm lake from a torrent river
Whenever I stopped at your door
I forgot for what reason I came
Or what I wanted to say
Then, on the night of Mahasaptami 
You reminded me the most unpleasant truth!
Since that day,
Since that moment
I was told that all your love and emotions
You only saved for your Greek boy.

 Kolkata, India

Note: Again a translated poem and a bit modified to keep the sense. Penned down on 03.10. 2003

Not all rain

Not all rain
but some are very painful!
When those incessantly fall from the sky
They remind us our dear ones...

"Please don't mind Sona!
I can't talk to you right now"
Words drenched in the rain become lost
So, not all rain
but some--some are very painful.

Not all rain
but some are very painful!
With rain, the sudden gust of wind and your boy
enter the room.

His face is wet and he says
"There is nothing to ask."


Kolkata, India

Note:Translated and modified from my Bengali poem written on 08.06.02.

Anti-love policy?

Love is blossoming
where anti-love policy prevails.
Can I breath in such a place
when love is the basis of my existence?

Kolkata, India 

Let the words flow

One of the stars is moving away;
Which means things will change soon!
All the words that I have created so far
Let them flow into the Gomti...
Let them drown deep into the water
And let them remain unheard.

Kolkata, India

Shaky You

Why are you shaky sometimes
And lose confidence before me and other women?
You had an awesome body language on Saturday, month of May and
probably Day 5th.
You were happy, contented, and confident.
Except those amino acids, religion, and sparks
you were near perfect.
And I am sorry that I am a miser when it
comes to giving compliments! :)

Note: I have had too many sparks and I have started asking questions regarding the value of such sparks in my life.

Evolutionary Ancestors

Here, on the 7th floor
you will frequently face your evolutionary ancestors
....especially if you take the  backstairs;
They always come in the afternoon
And mess up with the dustbins.
Some days back, just before the evening
I met one of them;
Both of us were frightened to see each other;

Fear caught me completely and
I couldn't move until it showed its teeth and
mercilessly got ready for an attack on its successor;
At that right moment
I found my senses,
I screamed and ran away.

 Lucknow, India

Women like us

My friend says
Our country doesn't deserve women like us
And she is quite right
which is one of the reasons
that I moved abroad.

Lucknow,India

Gaze

Your gaze at the floor
while talking has been praised by someone
as part of your good nature;
Now, I constantly smiled inside
keeping the mask intact. :)

Lucknow, India

The drenched kitty

In front of your mom,
You are like a small kitty;
Who got drenched into rain
and secretly came inside the room--shivering.
And you are also like a kid
Who would complain to his mom--
"us ladki ne mujhe billi kaha." 😍😍

Lucknow, India

(Note: Enjoy baby! Just don't like your sad face)

Sugandha

Like Sugandha--the muse of Raja Ravi Varma
I sometimes feel
not to interact with the world anymore.
The world of poetry
is so beautiful, so colorful, thoughtful, and peaceful
that the outside world looks pale in comparison!

People may say I am an escapist
But what does it matter
If someone finds happiness in escapism! 

Lucknow, India 

Value

A letter--- do you have any value of that?
I see it flying here and there..
at the corner of your room,
by the side of your bed,
On the sofa...
Or it kept flying each day
in your entire room.

On the table of yours
you left your sentiment;
you left your anger on the doorstep,
You left your jealousy in the bucket
                                    full of cold water....
And when the rain came in the middle of the night
Your bed was dragged into the water

And at that very moment
you cuddled me to be an island.

Lucknow, India

(Note: Translated from my Bengali poem written on 27.03.2002)

Recitation

You and me
Let's sit together for the first time!

By this time, you have taken birth somewhere else
somewhere in a better place I would imagine!
Even though, let's open our hearts
And let's see what we have kept there hidden;
Let's read each other's poems and criticize 
Let's talk about our love and inspirations
until a new dawn begins!

Lucknow, India

I am with you!

At this very moment
I am here with you!
That day, I got very scared
and my heart almost jumped out
and took refuge on my palm.

Seeing your gloomy face like
remembering my past struggles
--- struggles I have done and survived gracefully!
I do not want you to go through the SAME;
Also, I do not want to make big promises
Just remember that at present,
at this very moment
I am with you!

Lucknow, India

Crossing Paths

May be we are crossing paths;
We three were supposed to meet each other.

Although born in different time and space
We were from the same star of the universe
that once exploded in three different directions.

Lucknow, India

Bruising

Writing is one form of bruising oneself

Until the right words come to my mind

I usually remain blank;

So, please do not be so sad and restless

            if I don't write anything on you. 

Things are usually stored in my subconscious and 

One day they will flood me with emotions!

Also, a poet needs some kind of rejuvenation time to time 

to function in the world. 

Lucknow, India 

Note: Written on July 21st. 

The other "volcano"

That day, when everybody was talking
about your beautiful earring
My mood was quite off!
Sorry baby, I didn't notice the earring,
Sorry baby, I didn't notice the color of your suit,
Sorry that I was sitting like an active volcano;
Waiting to be exploded!
until you came and
suddenly hugged me from behind.

Lucknow, India

Melting

I was sitting like an active volcano
waiting to be exploded
And spit all my ash and smoke.
You suddenly came from behind
And hugged me tightly.

I turned into a glacier;
I started melting!

Lucknow, India 

Different Monsoon

Monsoon in your city and my city--a lot different.
Here, heavy shower in the morning
often leads to a clear sunny sky in the afternoon;
As afternoon slowly crawls to the evening
you would see several dark-gray nimbus clouds
floating in the sky...
And those could fall upon you anytime
before you could even take cover!


Kolkata, India

In the rain?

Did you spread your arms and drench in the rain?
That day, when those silver drops
came with their seven horses
and poured down heavily on the field
it brought relief to everyone!
At that very moment,
I felt you were sitting very close to me!
My senses got heightened which led me to
an almost muted cough
coming behind the closed door.


Kolkata,  India

Wonderland

As I took off
I looked at your city;
This part, near the airport is more green and beautiful!
I don't recall if there was rain yesterday or not
But the treetops were wet like
how we become sweaty because of the humid climate!
I dozed off a bit before Patna and
when I opened my eyes
I found myself in the midst of clouds
along with the sunlight peeping behind those
white elephants, fishes, and Imambaras.

Kolkata, India

Ziyarat

We like you
not because of your intellectual ability;
But as a human being!
The light you have in your eyes
And in your heart
We have become admirer of that.

These days, my Kshatrani misses you more than me!
So, when we will have the ziyarat (visit/darshan)?
By the way, don't be self-conceited
And take this as a spoiler alert.
Also, this is a small gift 
before going home for few days.

P.S. Did I use the word "ziyarat" correctly?

Lucknow, India 

Tantrum

The way I have come to your city is
part of hard work, networking, and above all my destiny.
Now things are so scattered here,
that one might lose sanity.
People around you are insecure, lack sincerity, as well as integrity
that I feel you might have fallen prey to those things as well;
People dare to ask questions directly
and extract information on someone's back
I initially had some faith on you
But these days I have lost that too.
Out of frustration,
I threw tantrum today and offended my friend.

Lucknow, India

When the city sleeps!

I love this city most when it sleeps.
It's that precious time when one can hear and feel
the sounds of wind, dewdrops, and
even the footsteps of baby house lizards.

There was a single star in the sky
which looked at me and said hello!
There was a single big sized lizard
which observed me for a while
with its round black eyes.
It stood still on the wall and pretended to be dead
until I made sure it wasn't.

You might be happy as well as surprised to know
that all these observations and contemplations were happening
at the other side of the cliff that I recently discovered!

Lucknow, India

In your eyes

If somebody carefully sees you
If somebody carefully looks into your eyes
They would find a shadow of loneliness--a shadow of a single
                                    monsoon cloud floating in the sky and
waiting to be relieved from its heaviness.

Here, when I am writing
sitting under the bluish evening sky
I have fallen short of words.

Please do not underestimate the power of loneliness
Because it is the source from which you draw your strength.
Also, when I am with you
What are YOU afraid of?

Lucknow, India 

Winning Shot

Next time,
Will you score a six?

Last time you only made two, not even a boundary.
Please play a straight drive of professionalism
And leave those amino acids behind.

In a meeting like that
people will be least bothered if the amino acids
were brought together by some supreme power or not to form life.

So, next time,
please score a six as the wining shot.

Lucknow, India

Invisible

The whole week
we didn't see our black-dressed man.
I missed him and not sure if she did or not.
We thought may be he had gone home
Or was on vacation.
Today, in the evening when we saw him
both of us asked the same question but separately.
"Where did you vanish"-I asked
As usual he smiled and said he had night duty.

Lucknow, India
(Note: In terms of literary work, this may fail to be considered as poetry. But, I would like to keep these thoughts as memory).

Lipstick

Whenever I kiss her
Her cheek gets brightened like the
first sunlight emerging from the reddish sky.
I lighten up her cheek
with my red lipstick and then wipe it up softly.
I like this wiping part most than
leaving the mark behind.

Lucknow, India

Different Love

My love with my Cutie Pie
is the purest form of love.
It has no desire, no lust, and no longing.
I don't wait for her nor she waits for me. 
When she kisses me on my cheek
                         Or I kiss her back;
There is no attachment nor detachment.
In comparison, your love towards me
                                       is a bit lustful.
And only you can explore the exact reason.

Lucknow, India

Nobody needed

This moment, I am complete in myself
This moment, I don't need anyone except me!
In this city, I have reached my zenith
in practicing attachment and detachment simultaneously.

Lucknow, India

Century I

In my life,
Her opinion matters most!
Her blessing matters most!

Today, I write it candidly
I always wanted you by my side like this
since I started my journey when I was fourteen
since I started experimenting like my father
with the "love and life" genre
Even long before that
when the Divine was sowing the seed for me to be the
future queen as well as the mendicant.

I have no more fear of falling on the ground
I have no more fear of losing my sanity
I know you would come and pick me up from the floor
And would say: Make it hundred.

***************************************************************

( Aapne kaha hain ke
Fateh karke aana!
Aapne kaha hain ke
Century karke aana!
Agar kavi zameen pe gir parun to
Aapkoi aana hain sambhal ne ke liye.)

Lucknow, India

Mask

One problem of this place is PEOPLE.
Curiosity is good
But curiosity about digging up people's personal life is awful!
People here don't understand the value of privacy
Nor they understand clues when someone is maintaining distance.

The new honey from the desert beehive was too energetic to know me all
that I was literally running here and there to find a solitary spot.
Today, when my mask was torn a bit and my balanced center shifted little
people stormed in to ask what happened
I don't mind the questions of my coffee dada
because I know he is a gem in his heart;
But I hate questions of those who haven't achieved a basic human platform yet.

Today, when my mask was torn a bit and my balanced center shifted little
people stormed in to ask what happened
I had to quickly make up a story that I was missing my home
And for silly people, that is the easiest thing to perceive :) 

Dear wild baby,
I am so sorry to lose my mask
Dear wild baby,
I promise, it would never happen again
This place is too risky to lose our pretension masks.

And in near future,
SKY, we have to wear a much better and colorful pretension mask.



Lucknow, India

Monsoon Tale

Tonight, when I was coming back from the cliff
taking the winding road on its southern side,
I suddenly turned back
and saw you standing and smiling at me!

The other day, I saw three of us
wading through the small stream flowing at the base of the cliff.
We were trying to cross it while holding our shoes in our hand.
All of us were anxious to reach school on time.
The monsoon cloud was already hovering over
and it suddenly allowed the silver droplets to beat our tiny heads!
Holding each other's hands, we quickly ran to the pine woods.

Lucknow, India

A day in Lucknow

My Cutie Pie,
Riding tube with you was fun;
And I can spend million of such moments with you!

We were so happy to show you the sky
and the city from the above;
The city which looked like red and white
like some painted flower vase;
The city where you grew up--but you
didn't explore much! 
Cutie Pie, do not wait for someone
to show you all!

Lucknow, India

Question

I wonder
is there any role of the SUN
in our clandestine love?

Lucknow, India

Partner

I will never be an octopus partner
nor a possessive one!
They will have their southern breeze
to breathe and thrive!
And my guys: don't forget that I have my own life
where I am the queen and mendicant at the same time.
Who could give me anything
when I have everything as well as nothing.

Lucknow, India. 

Invitation

Come to the horizon,
Come and meet me;
Come and bring me rain!
Tonight, the sky is dark with occasional lightning;
The smell of the soft soil has risen again
from the sun-baked Earth.

The brief moment we were together
amidst all sound and motion
I noticed rain poured on your black shoes
--black as the Kentucky coal that was just brought above the ground
from surface mining.
I noticed and wondered
who did such dark polishing and did you pay enough?

Tonight, rain is there again.
Tonight, rain has no sound.
So, come to the horizon embracing the darkness and covering your face;
I do not need to see you in bright light because I have seen you enough;
Just show me your EYES!
Come to the horizon
And please do not forget to leave your shoes behind.

Lucknow, India

Resurrection

Manto, come one more time!

Resurrect from the grave

Come all the way from Lahore to Lucknow

Come and rest your hand on my tormented forehead. 

Manto, in this troubled time we need you one more time!

We--all marginal, all feminists, all depressed, and oppressed need you!

Lucknow, India 

                                                                                                                   

Miserable Hindus

Hindus are miserable
especially those
who subtly boast about eating veg
and meticulously maintain the idea of purity and pollution
by bringing food from home!

If Hindutva is only demarcated by
not eating any kind of meat and the "beef"
then she had lost such "Hindutva"
long long ago. :)

Lucknow, India 

Good Night

Last night, I had Manto in one hand
and you in another;
It could be the effects of both of you
Or it could be the cough syrup;
Whatever it may be
I slept peacefully after a long time.

Lucknow, India 

Struggle

It's easy to pat each other's back
with false praise!
It's also easy to flaunt that you have all knowledge of the universe!
But it's not easy to understand someone
who has real quality and
who doesn't fear to ask questions.

In the coming days who knows
you might have to take strong actions.
How long you could satisfy someone with sweet candy
unless the person has developed other taste buds.

Lucknow, India

Diplomat (?)

Since our last meeting
I have one question in my mind.
Could positivity and diplomacy go hand in hand?

Lucknow, India

Eid Mubarak

In the evening of your great festival
this piece of old city looked deserted;
It's not the usual hustle and bustle.

I am one of many
who stayed back to enjoy
                  its dusty and empty roads
                  its scorching heat
                  its narrow alleys and
                  its parched rooftops

Interestingly, some weeks back
I wanted to run away from this emptiness
thinking that I won't be with you,
                     Nor you with me!
But today, when I am truly alone
I gathered enough strength to be with YOU.

Lucknow, India

Newborn

If you want to know me
know my poetry;
If you want to love me
love my poetry;
Hold them in your arm
like you hold a child!
Love them, caress them
like you touch a newborn baby.

Lucknow, India

Pretension

You have failed the pretension test.
Honestly, I was a bit disappointed.

You forgot you were sitting in front of someone
who has as high EQ as me!
Even sometimes better than me in terms of clarity.
Your different behavior was noted
And I had to cover up for you!

Also, I don't understand
Why you were so embarrassed.
I only know your glance
not your thought process;
Even I know your thoughts
I have enough power to absorb it.
The saddest part: It's me who is explaining things to you. :(

Lucknow, India

Attachment & Detachment

It's hard to explain
this attachment and detachment to You.
Unless you are seeing me
under the one roof
and with them.

Lucknow, India

Parents

Parents do sacrifice for their children.
But don't they think about themselves first
When they bring a baby into the world?
Aren't they selfish too?
A child is not born out of blue
It is born out of two people's extreme "pleasure", planning (and unplanning)

Don't they have any self-interest?
Because they want to get a slice of their childhood back?
Because they want to  fulfill their unfulfilled dreams and wishes?
Don't they think that their children would return them all of their INVESTMENT?

We are not god(s).
We have expectations.

Lucknow, India

Beast

The truth you said about me is harsh.
I know, I don't want to always face the BEAST within me;
You are someone
who has been sent to make me a better person.
My friend, I have taken your words to my heart
Though I wouldn't say this to you ever
I would try to nurture the quality of gratitude.
But you also don't know how my days were spent on a rocky desert
where everyone was engaged in a war of bitterness, anger, and frustration;
From which I took refuge in "Myself"
Probably that is the root of the BEAST.
The other thing is that
The harshest truth-your own survival comes first
The survival of the fittest-the basic instinct of an animal.



Lucknow, India

(All these justifications are unnecessary. Either develop it or give it a s**t)

Longing

Love is not always sticking together like glue;
What is the value of love
if it doesn't teach you the charm of longing and waiting.

Lucknow, India

Abby

Abby, who is like a palm tree in the desert
wears white shirt and pant.
The best thing about him is that
he is gender neutral.
And he liked the name
I have given to him.

Lucknow, India 

Cutie Pie

My Cutie Pie said:
"Aapke Alaaba mujhe kuchh dikhti nehi hain."
And I raised my collar;
Although it's a blatant joke
I liked the way she said it to me!

Lucknow, India 

Testing II

I tested two people here;
And they failed.
They are too much involved in petty politics.

Knowledge does not make a person better or worse.
It is only the "equality, generosity, and compassion"
And when these things are considered
Even the person who brings me coffee
Would be on a higher plane.

Lucknow, India